Cara Neir

77 Myths of Venerable Magik

Featuring
Release date May 06, 2022

Tracklist

1
I Hate Black Metal... Or Frostbytten and Bvtthurt
1:54
1:54
2
Doesn’t Matter What You Call Yourself, You’re Always Gonna Be a Nazi (Just Say No to NSBM)
1:31
1:31
3
How to Get Signed
0:57
0:57
4
Social Media Death Metal
2:58
2:58
5
I’m Pretty Cool Myself
0:27
0:27
6
Jump the Heck Up
1:45
1:45
7
Super Unorthodox Backwoods Coffee Club Revival
0:45
0:45
8
Skimpy Solomon Fartfingers
3:26
3:26
9
Introduction: Gathering Around the Light of the Fire as the Unearthly and Benevolent Spirits of the Forest Join Us in This Magik Night
1:09
1:09
10
My Elf Ears Melted in My Car
0:05
0:05
11
Ranking Morbid Angel Albums Solely Based Upon Their Cover Art
2:22
2:22
12
At the Risk of Taking a Feminist Stance, I Gotta Say Cemetery Rapist Is a Very Bad Band
0:06
0:06
13
Getting Frostbite During the Texas Blizzard Taking Corpsepaint Photos
0:06
0:06
14
Don’t Tempt Me Frodo!
0:04
0:04
15
Awaken Me When the Time Is Appropriate to Listen to Type O Negative
0:34
0:34
16
Venom Enema
0:03
0:03
17
The Frozen One Awaits
0:04
0:04
18
Beefcakes Without Borders
0:05
0:05
19
Nothing More Punk Than a Fast, Casual Italian Eatery
0:05
0:05
20
The Ancient Spell, Grimly Uttered in the Tongues of the Old Ones by My Unfortunate Rectum Hours After Eating Spicy Curry
0:08
0:08
21
Mamma’s Selling a Line 6
0:03
0:03
22
Professor Snape, the World’s Favorite Incel
0:03
0:03
23
The Gate of No Return
0:03
0:03
24
The Noise Gate of No Return
0:04
0:04
25
My Former Life as a Poser
0:04
0:04
26
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
0:03
0:03
27
Diesel Boner
0:05
0:05
28
Really, How Long Does It Take to Test a Fucking Compression Pedal??
0:05
0:05
29
Tormented and Coerced Into Performing a Live Ritual by an Eldritch Forest Spirit, a Pair of Ghouls and a Weeb
0:21
0:21
30
How Can I Be Punk When I Have a Severe Skin Allergy to Nickel
0:06
0:06
31
Freebasing Cringe
0:03
0:03
32
I Wish My Life Had More of a Thulean Perspective
0:07
0:07
33
Daydreaming Giddily About John Lennon Burning in Hell
0:12
0:12
34
Catfishing Viper
0:03
0:03
35
Cognitive Ball Therapy
0:03
0:03
36
Researching the Legality of Cannibalism
0:07
0:07
37
Entering and Leaving the Garage Waiting for the Random Encounter Peavey to Spawn
0:06
0:06
38
Unapproachable Raw Black Metal Legend Purchasing Me Indie Rock Record From My Own City
0:12
0:12
39
Cursed to Listen to Untold Hours of King Crimson in the Lair of Count Progula
0:09
0:09
40
Asking Raw Black Metal Elite, “You Ever Heard Behemoth?”
0:09
0:09
41
Buying a Gun From the Drummer of Savatage
0:05
0:05
42
Having a Random Encounter With Lord Wurm in Recycled, to Have Him Babble Something Insane and Give You an S Rank Quest
2:10
2:10
43
Nice 12 String Ric You Psych Rock Playing Poser (I Mean This Unironically)
0:04
0:04
44
Okay Give Me That Guitar It’s Too Cool for You, You Play Psych Rock in 2021
0:06
0:06
45
Wolves in the Throne Room Posting Emojis (Wolves in the Throne Room Are a Bunch of Fucking Nerds Pt 2)
0:10
0:10
46
Being a Pornogrind Fan Is Cleaning the Cum Out of the Grooves on Your Meat Shits Records
0:11
0:11
47
The Worst Part of Being an NSBM Fan (Other Than, Y’know Being Racist) Is Having to Pretend That Absurd Is a Good Band
0:04
0:04
48
Like a Macabre Rail of Silly String a Footlong Cord of Turds Rope Descends From My Anus
0:07
0:07
49
And on That Day His Forehead Grew Three Times Its Normal Size
0:05
0:05
50
Punishing Edm Kids With Neil Young
0:04
0:04
51
Becoming a Cocaine Cowboy Because You Don’t Know What Else to Do With Yourself Now That Burger Records Is Cancelled
0:06
0:06
52
You’ll Cowards Won’t Even Play in Standard Tuning
0:05
0:05
53
Todopoderoso Steals Riffs From Kombat (How DARE They Play an Open E)
0:05
0:05
54
Ancient Sword of the Meth King
0:04
0:04
55
I’m Going to Fucking Fight Vincent Gallo, and I Will Win
0:06
0:06
56
Successfully Cyberbullied a Child
0:04
0:04
57
Save a Tele, Kill Your Local Indie Rocker
1:33
1:33
58
Do You Believe in Magick (Spelled with a “K”)?
0:03
0:03
59
Aerosmith by Choice
0:02
0:02
60
Another Wampyric and Elusive Black Metal Project With Dungeon Synth Interludes Just Like the Last Five That I Unloaded My Paycheck On
0:10
0:10
61
That Mountain Goats Song About a Death Metal Band Wasn’t About Kombat
0:06
0:06
62
Jackhammer Dildo
0:04
0:04
63
Knowing Very Obscure Metal Bands Makes Me a Desirable Person and Fun to Talk to at Parties
0:08
0:08
64
An Onslaught of Rotting Monkeys
0:02
0:02
65
Giving My Album Art the Color Palette of Black, White and Red So We All Know It’s Blasphemy Worship (What the Goat Wasn’t Enough of a Giveaway?)
0:07
0:07
66
Wretched Crotchspawn of a Belligerent Oogle
0:04
0:04
67
Larry Is Bald
0:04
0:04
68
Cum Ghost
0:03
0:03
69
The House That Beef Built
0:03
0:03
70
Time to Start Bullying NFT Artists
0:06
0:06
71
Critical Race Theory in Power Electronics
0:06
0:06
72
A Snake With a Mohawk Eating Its Own Asshole
0:05
0:05
73
I Fear My Earthling Neighbors Have Seen Me Feasting Upon Car Batteries
0:07
0:07
74
A Group of Three (3) Or More Peavey Combo Amps Is Commonly Referred to as a “Pawn Shop”
0:11
0:11
75
Honor Guard of Black Kittens Guide Me as I Carry This Pile of Bones Home
0:10
0:10
76
If You Feel Your Rectum Begin to Leak Feel Free to Challenge Me to a Battle of Intellects on Facebook
0:26
0:26
77
Eno-Pilled
1:09
1:09