Eugene Mirman

I'm Sorry (You're Welcome)

Release date October 30, 2015

Tracklist

1
Introduction, A Gift From Derrick
3:31
3:31
2
Some Jokes That Have To Do With My Girlfriend, A Hotel In Boston, A Man In Provincetown, Twitter, Time Vs. Timing, A Neck Pillow
5:00
5:00
3
Sub Pop Showcase At SxSW
1:56
1:56
4
Ask A Pastor
3:03
3:03
5
Some Jokes That Touch Upon Religion, Guitar Center
3:04
3:04
6
A LinkedIn Profile
2:39
2:39
7
The Time I Was Mugged In Mexico With Michael Stipe
5:48
5:48
8
Girlfriend, Khaleesi, Any Questions, Making A 'Zine
3:50
3:50
9
Contacting Celebrities On Facebook
4:18
4:18
10
Not Happy With A Parking Ticket I Got In Portsmouth, NH
7:59
7:59
11
Paintings I Made To Showcase At My Local Whole Foods
2:29
2:29
12
I Marry A Couple From The Audience On Stage
7:05
7:05
13
Welcome To The Meditation, Please Get Comfortable
3:22
3:22
14
The Body
2:26
2:26
15
Feet & Legs
1:55
1:55
16
Tummy, Doodle & Hoo-Hoo
2:54
2:54
17
Heart
2:54
2:54
18
Throat, Arms & Hands
2:41
2:41
19
Head
1:51
1:51
20
Thank You Body, Simple Ways To Relax
3:14
3:14
21
Introduction
0:16
0:16
22
Horse
0:04
0:04
23
Horse Galloping
0:07
0:07
24
Horse III
0:08
0:08
25
Duck
0:04
0:04
26
Duck II
0:08
0:08
27
Dog
0:05
0:05
28
Cat
0:07
0:07
29
Cat Purring
0:09
0:09
30
Cat Asking For Directions
0:09
0:09
31
Two Sheep Arguing
0:10
0:10
32
Mice Making Fried Rice
0:06
0:06
33
Bear
0:04
0:04
34
Wolf
0:07
0:07
35
Fox Embarrassed About His Boner
0:07
0:07
36
Giraffe Sleeping
0:08
0:08
37
Turtle
0:04
0:04
38
Turtle II
0:09
0:09
39
Chicken Prostitue Haggling
0:13
0:13
40
Shark
0:05
0:05
41
Toilet Flushing
0:08
0:08
42
Blender
0:08
0:08
43
Automatic Door Opening
0:06
0:06
44
Doorbell
0:04
0:04
45
Alarm Clock
0:06
0:06
46
Frying Pan Sizzle
0:08
0:08
47
Teapot Whistle
0:09
0:09
48
Dishwasher Running
0:08
0:08
49
Telephone Ringing
0:07
0:07
50
Telephone Falling On The Ground
0:09
0:09
51
Shower Running
0:08
0:08
52
Crackling Fire
0:09
0:09
53
VCR Ejecting A Tape
0:06
0:06
54
Group Of Businessmen Agreeing
0:18
0:18
55
Baby Locked In A Dresser
0:09
0:09
56
Fart
0:04
0:04
57
Long Fart
0:06
0:06
58
Fart III
0:09
0:09
59
Little Girl Crying
0:12
0:12
60
Man Walking In Boots
0:12
0:12
61
Screaming Man
0:05
0:05
62
Screaming Woman Who Sounds Like A Man
0:07
0:07
63
TV Audience Clapping At Food
0:11
0:11
64
Drum Circle
0:14
0:14
65
Rave
0:10
0:10
66
Last Guy At A Rave
0:09
0:09
67
Train
0:06
0:06
68
Steam Engine
0:07
0:07
69
Neon Sign
0:08
0:08
70
Motorcycle
0:07
0:07
71
Scanning An Item
0:04
0:04
72
Feeling For A Ripe Avocado
0:06
0:06
73
Jihadist After Seeing About A Boy
0:07
0:07
74
Jack-In-The-Box
0:08
0:08
75
Jigsaw Puzzle
0:06
0:06
76
Fire Truck
0:06
0:06
77
Video Game
0:05
0:05
78
Italian Person Eating a Pizza Pie
0:07
0:07
79
Naturalized Immigrant Doing A Job You Are Unqualified For
0:10
0:10
80
Abortion Doctor Enjoying A Candy Bar
0:10
0:10
81
Grand Wizard Can't Find A Sock
0:06
0:06
82
Powerful Senator
0:09
0:09
83
Powerful Senator II
0:11
0:11
84
Fighter Plane
0:06
0:06
85
Ambient Noise In An Airplane
0:12
0:12
86
Airplane Flying
0:10
0:10
87
Police Siren
0:07
0:07
88
Police Siren In Europe
0:08
0:08
89
Police Siren In Belgium
0:08
0:08
90
Gun Shot
0:04
0:04
91
Machine Gun
0:05
0:05
92
.357 Magnum Inside A Watermelon
0:11
0:11
93
Gays In The Military
0:06
0:06
94
Thunder
0:05
0:05
95
Rain
0:10
0:10
96
Hurricane
0:10
0:10
97
Blizzard
0:09
0:09
98
Snowing
0:11
0:11
99
Sentient Robot Going About His Daily Business
0:14
0:14
100
Computer Downloading A File
0:10
0:10
101
New Email
0:04
0:04
102
Traffic
0:11
0:11
103
Kids Playing In The Park
0:14
0:14
104
Kids Playing In The Park II
0:10
0:10
105
Spaceship Flying
0:10
0:10
106
Spaceship Crashing
0:07
0:07
107
Going To Warp Speed
0:06
0:06
108
Alien Supermarket
0:18
0:18
109
Laser Gunfire
0:11
0:11
110
Someone Controlling Technology By Waving Their Hands
0:14
0:14
111
Ronald Reagan Taking A Shower
0:09
0:09
112
Tacos
0:05
0:05
113
Fur Coat Getting F*cked By A Bunch Of Cats
0:12
0:12
114
Tree Falling In A Forest
0:09
0:09
115
Jewish Person Saying "Oy Vey" Wrong
0:08
0:08
116
Summertime
0:07
0:07
117
People Being Diligent At An Ad Agency
0:10
0:10
118
Helicopter
0:06
0:06
119
Living Helicopter Complaining
0:10
0:10
120
Chinese Woman Eating Lasagna
0:11
0:11
121
Hero Returning From A Budweiser Commercial
0:10
0:10
122
Elephant Having Trouble
0:10
0:10
123
One Of Those People On The Street Who Tries To Get Money
0:13
0:13
124
Telephone Calling A Toaster
0:13
0:13
125
Grasshopper Asking A Dog A Question
0:15
0:15
126
Shortwave Radio
0:12
0:12
127
Two Apples On A Rainy Sunday In The Fall
0:12
0:12
128
Dentist Having Sex
0:07
0:07
129
Panda At A Hotel
0:10
0:10
130
Birth Control Pills Telling A Little Boy Not To Eat Them
0:10
0:10
131
Cat That Doesn't Mind
0:09
0:09
132
Male Toothpaste Being Sneaky
0:08
0:08
133
Creamy Polenta Vs. Couscous
0:10
0:10
134
Old Man's Penis
0:10
0:10
135
Dial Tone
0:13
0:13
136
Museum That Needs To Use The Bathroom
0:12
0:12
137
Celebrity Agreeing To Take A Selfie
0:10
0:10
138
Guy Getting A Sweet Beej
0:12
0:12
139
Fire Hydrant That Doesn't Want Anyone To Know It's Anti-Semitic
0:13
0:13
140
Bellhop Who Got Stung
0:07
0:07
141
LGBT Party Where People Are Eating Sushi
0:16
0:16
142
LGBT Newsletter That Loves The Expendables Franchise
0:10
0:10
143
Sweaty Kid Crying About A Sandwich
0:08
0:08
144
Too Many Pieces Of Paper
0:06
0:06
145
Puddle
0:04
0:04
146
Magic Clown Using His Powers
0:12
0:12
147
Wild Turkey Bragging About His Mansion
0:13
0:13
148
The Number 84 Explaining To The Number 52 That It Is Bigger But Not Better
0:11
0:11
149
Tape Recorder Being Used Wrong
0:09
0:09
150
Misogynistic Maple Trees
0:12
0:12
151
Apple Sauce Being Naughty
0:06
0:06
152
Safe Word
0:09
0:09
153
Two Pistols Sitting On A Shelf
0:08
0:08
154
Cookies Being Arrested
0:10
0:10
155
Sheep That Is Too Cute To Eat
0:13
0:13
156
Daughter Reacting To Her Mother Telling Her There Are Two Kinds Of People In This World
0:11
0:11
157
Desk Covered In Hair
0:08
0:08
158
Person From 1870 Who Was Frozen In Time
0:14
0:14
159
Boy Who Loves Hammocks
0:10
0:10
160
Dustpan
0:10
0:10
161
A Billion Ants Writing A Complaint Letter
0:12
0:12
162
Two 20-Year-Olds Touching Their Winkies
0:09
0:09
163
Yellow Line That Divides Roads
0:09
0:09
164
Smell Of A Pear
0:11
0:11
165
Group Of Wealthy Men
0:13
0:13
166
Confused Child
0:07
0:07
167
25 Rats Sleeping
0:23
0:23
168
Flowers
0:07
0:07
169
Fishing
0:05
0:05
170
Boat
0:06
0:06
171
Mizzenmast
0:05
0:05
172
Bow
0:05
0:05
173
Stern
0:05
0:05
174
Basement
0:05
0:05
175
Rainbow
0:07
0:07
176
Telescope Being Defensive
0:08
0:08
177
Larry King Being Told Important Information
0:10
0:10
178
Well
0:05
0:05
179
The Moment A Well-Respected Author Wins The Guinness World Record
0:11
0:11
180
Salad
0:05
0:05
181
Little Girl Teasing A Lamp
0:09
0:09
182
Zoo With Nothing To Lose
0:09
0:09
183
Racist Stapler
0:07
0:07
184
Friendship Bracelet
0:07
0:07
185
Thor's Hammer, Mjölnir
0:08
0:08
186
Two Lost Fireflies
0:09
0:09
187
Humpback Whale
0:10
0:10
188
Elevator At The Empire State Building
0:13
0:13
189
Tip Of A Billionaire's Penis
0:10
0:10
190
Brand New Pillows Covered In Blood
0:08
0:08
191
French Kids Picking Apples
0:08
0:08
192
Huge Pile Of Dirty Shirts
0:11
0:11
193
Hotel Guest Falling Asleep Frustrated
0:11
0:11
194
RomneyCare & ObamaCare
0:16
0:16
195
The Nerve Of Some People
0:04
0:04
196
Boner School
0:05
0:05
197
Spilled Milk That Found Out Its Son Died In A Car Accident
0:09
0:09
198
A BuzzFeed List
0:08
0:08
199
Two College Kids Subtly Trying To Figure Out Which One Is More Disadvantaged
0:11
0:11
200
Fox News & MSNBC
0:14
0:14
201
Amicable Divorce
0:05
0:05
202
Bing-Bong Ding-Dong Playing With Boom-Boom Doom-Doom
0:09
0:09
203
Snacks In Iraq
0:06
0:06
204
Telecommuting Cat
0:06
0:06
205
Nano-Horse
0:05
0:05
206
Hebrew Ray
0:07
0:07
207
Caldor Binge Drinking
0:11
0:11
208
Gender Roles On Their Way To A Football Game
0:09
0:09
209
Details
0:04
0:04
210
School Teacher Given Permission
0:12
0:12
211
High School Hockey Team Seeing 20 Years Into The Future
0:07
0:07
212
Cheese
0:07
0:07
213
Anna Kendrick Discovering An Underwater City
0:06
0:06
214
The Czech Republic
0:08
0:08
215
Drug Lord Feels Pretty Bad
0:07
0:07
216
Hotel Bed That Is Tired
0:08
0:08
217
Warm Handmade Boiled Bagels
0:09
0:09
218
Silly Billy Goat Got A Heroin Addiction
0:18
0:18
219
A Medically Reliable Introduction To Digital Drugs
0:25
0:25
220
Marijuana
3:00
3:00
221
Pcp
3:00
3:00
222
Heroin
3:00
3:00
223
Apple Cider Vinegar
3:00
3:00
224
Mdma
3:00
3:00
225
Lsd
3:00
3:00
226
Amoxicillin
3:00
3:00
227
Peyote
3:00
3:00
228
Amaretto Sour
3:00
3:00
229
Oxycodone
3:00
3:00
230
Crying
0:18
0:18
231
More Crying
1:32
1:32
232
Still Crying
17:51
17:51
233
I Simply Keep Crying
25:35
25:35
234
Welcome To My Russian Audio Phrasebook
0:36
0:36
235
Common Statements & Questions For Everyday Situations
1:57
1:57
236
Conversational Russian In The Workplace
2:17
2:17
237
Casual Phrases For Parties, Pubs & Outings
2:38
2:38
238
Proper Dinner Conversation For The Educated Guest
2:59
2:59
239
Small Talk With Strangers & Acquaintances in Public Spaces
3:00
3:00
240
Useful Phrases While On Vacation In Russia
2:49
2:49
241
Commonplace Subjects Within The Rich World of Academia
2:39
2:39
242
Polite Ways To Engage People of High Status
3:15
3:15
243
Enter The F*Ckscape
3:07
3:07
244
Take A Ride On The Poon Schooner
3:19
3:19
245
I'm A Dirty Little Foreign Advisor
3:32
3:32
246
I Thought I Was The Pancake Man
3:46
3:46
247
You're A World-Class Pussy-Grifter
8:18
8:18
248
Intro To Ringtones
0:28
0:28
249
Phone Call
0:07
0:07
250
Vibrate Vibrate Vibrate
0:07
0:07
251
Ding-Dong Doodly-Doo
0:10
0:10
252
Waterfalls Shrimp Shrimp
0:08
0:08
253
Fiddle-Doddle-Doodle-Deedle
0:08
0:08
254
Doo-Doo-Pa-Dee-Da-Da-Pada
0:11
0:11
255
Phone Is Ringing
0:09
0:09
256
Friend
0:07
0:07
257
Love
0:12
0:12
258
Spicy Fish
0:13
0:13
259
Mother Calling
0:06
0:06
260
Father Calling
0:05
0:05
261
Mother 2
0:06
0:06
262
Father 2
0:05
0:05
263
Zippa-Dee-Doo-Da Zippa-Dee-Da
0:09
0:09
264
Aaaaaaaa
0:05
0:05
265
Wife Calling
0:10
0:10
266
Husband Calling
0:09
0:09
267
Someone Is Calling
0:12
0:12
268
F*ckface Calling
0:07
0:07
269
Acquaintance
0:06
0:06
270
Unnnnnn
0:15
0:15
271
Auauauauauauau
0:10
0:10
272
Wouowowoooouuuooo
0:13
0:13
273
Whistle Ring
0:08
0:08
274
Trtrtrtrtrtrtrllllbbrrr
0:17
0:17
275
Vrrrvvvvvvvvvvbbbrrr
0:10
0:10
276
Hyeuueehuuyehyeheyehyeyeeuu
0:12
0:12
277
Gwreeegwkqreu
0:10
0:10
278
Hrrruuhrrrunnghruu
0:06
0:06
279
Hraaaa! Hraavlaa!
0:07
0:07
280
Luuuuleelaaalalou!!
0:06
0:06
281
Unnngnhhhnhnhnuua
0:11
0:11
282
Answer The Phone
0:12
0:12
283
Pffrrrtttt
0:06
0:06
284
Susan Sarandon Is Calling
0:11
0:11
285
Colleague
0:06
0:06
286
Doodle-Doodle Hoo-Hoo
0:07
0:07
287
Hey!
0:06
0:06
288
Waffles
0:05
0:05
289
F*Ckbuddy
0:06
0:06
290
Piano Cleaner
0:05
0:05
291
Bryan
0:06
0:06
292
Cream Cheese
0:11
0:11
293
Rabbi
0:06
0:06
294
Priest
0:04
0:04
295
I Can't Answer The Phone
0:16
0:16
296
Intro To Outgoing Voicemail Messages
1:08
1:08
297
Dr. Fart
0:11
0:11
298
Sarah
0:09
0:09
299
Social Anxiety
0:08
0:08
300
The Sizzle-Maker
0:13
0:13
301
Mittens
0:13
0:13
302
Kate
0:07
0:07
303
No Answer
0:07
0:07
304
Debbie
0:16
0:16
305
Andrew
0:07
0:07
306
Phil Donahue
0:04
0:04
307
Kaitlin
0:08
0:08
308
Old Man
0:06
0:06
309
Steve
0:07
0:07
310
Lucy
0:06
0:06
311
Judy
0:07
0:07
312
Megan
0:11
0:11
313
Leave Your Name
0:07
0:07
314
Kim
0:07
0:07
315
Tim
0:11
0:11
316
Miguel
0:08
0:08
317
Sebastian
0:05
0:05
318
Penicillin Dong
0:06
0:06
319
Thong McHacky-Sack
0:07
0:07
320
Matt
0:04
0:04
321
Katie
0:08
0:08
322
Confident Balls
0:08
0:08
323
Robert
0:10
0:10
324
Mr. sh*tface
0:06
0:06
325
Pile Of Sneakers
0:08
0:08
326
Pasta Nasty
0:07
0:07
327
Crème Fresh Jackson
0:08
0:08
328
I Can't Answer The Phone
0:04
0:04
329
Flitchy Woo-Woo
0:10
0:10
330
Slick motherf*cker
0:06
0:06
331
Sleepy Horse
0:10
0:10
332
Can't Come To Phone
0:13
0:13
333
Dawn
0:07
0:07
334
I Am A Doctor
0:08
0:08
335
Nick
0:09
0:09
336
Poodle
0:09
0:09
337
Hello, Mr. c*nt
0:05
0:05
338
Standard Greeting 1
0:07
0:07
339
Standard Greeting 2
0:08
0:08
340
Standard Greeting 3
0:07
0:07
341
Standard Greeting 4
0:07
0:07
342
Standard Greeting 5
0:10
0:10
343
Standard Greeting 6
0:09
0:09
344
Standard Greeting 7
0:07
0:07
345
I Can't Answer The Phone (But I Want To)
2:15
2:15
346
Please Take Off Your Shoes
0:04
0:04
347
Don Draper Has The Flu
0:06
0:06
348
Moons Over Your Hammy
0:10
0:10
349
It's Not A Slumber Party Without Thor
0:04
0:04
350
Now My Back Hurts
0:04
0:04
351
Waffle House Parking Lot Mix-Up
0:13
0:13
352
Thank You So, So Much Mandy Patinkin
0:04
0:04
353
Oops
0:05
0:05
354
Sneaking Around The Zoo
0:08
0:08
355
Goodnight, Buddy
0:17
0:17
356
Baba Yaga Already Said She Was Sorry
0:06
0:06
357
Faxed To The Wrong Number
0:12
0:12
358
Linda Ronstadt Chillaxing
0:04
0:04
359
1960's Street Fight
0:05
0:05
360
Seriously Bro, You Just Made Me Goosh... Thanks
0:09
0:09
361
You Can Call Me Al (Not Song)
0:06
0:06
362
Don't Worry, This Man-Nanny Can Keep A Secret
0:11
0:11
363
The Best Misunderstanding
0:04
0:04
364
Whoa... Lookout, Sir Beast-Weasel
0:07
0:07
365
Kindhearted Fireman
0:06
0:06
366
Let's Put Our Intellectual Property Debate On Hold
0:04
0:04
367
Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. And Mrs. President
0:11
0:11
368
Ice Cream Hearts Melting In The Love-Sun
0:11
0:11
369
Offal For Lunch, Woo-Hoo For Dinner
0:24
0:24
370
Goofballs Having Silly Fun
0:09
0:09
371
The Jackal Never Misses!
0:10
0:10
372
Land-Grabber's Cousin Has Nice Upstairs
0:04
0:04
373
Mrs. Thunder/Mr. 80% Chance Of Rain
0:07
0:07
374
Don't Mind If I Do...
0:11
0:11
375
Round One Goes To Princess-Rump
0:07
0:07
376
Happy And Stuffed
0:06
0:06
377
Just Another Guns N' Roses Brunch
0:06
0:06
378
Pleasant Surprise At Sleepaway Camp
0:07
0:07
379
Handsome Old Man Has A Tummy Ache
0:04
0:04
380
Have We Met?
0:11
0:11
381
No, Please... After You
0:08
0:08
382
Gimme Back My Bonnie Raitt CD... Actually, Keep It
0:10
0:10
383
Tollbooth Attendant Is Open-Minded
0:08
0:08
384
88% On Rotten Tomatoes
0:04
0:04
385
Mischievous Whoopsy-Daisy
0:13
0:13
386
Two Rascals Showing Off
0:28
0:28
387
48 And Flexible
0:06
0:06
388
That Was Worth It
0:13
0:13
389
Bandits Helping Around The House
0:04
0:04
390
Army Buddies Going Big-Ball Bowling
0:14
0:14
391
I'm The Autodidact Of Amour
0:10
0:10
392
Oh, My Wife Knows
0:09
0:09
393
That Was The Best FTP I Ever Uploaded
0:13
0:13
394
The Healing Heart/Mother-In-Law
0:06
0:06
395
Just Two Doves At A Sweat Party
0:19
0:19
396
We Get Five Weeks' Vacation In Holland
0:05
0:05
397
Young Man Is An Excellent Executive Administrative Assistant
0:16
0:16
398
Two Adults In A Small Space
0:11
0:11
399
Dude, We're On The 5 O'Clock News
0:18
0:18
400
Www.Thepleasuresallmine.Gov
0:11
0:11
401
I Don't Have The Hiccups Anymore
0:08
0:08
402
Thank You For Allowing Me Access To Your Oven
0:15
0:15
403
These Goat-Like People Know Their Bodies!
0:08
0:08
404
Bill Clinton Is Still Quite Playful
0:10
0:10
405
I Could Sure Use A Glass Of Water Now
0:09
0:09
406
The Kindness Of Strangers
0:10
0:10
407
We're Registered At Bed, Bath & Behind
0:13
0:13
408
IT Department Doesn't Have A Care In The World
0:04
0:04
409
Brassy, Bald And Ejaculating
0:09
0:09
410
I Voted For McCain In 2000
0:10
0:10
411
New Car Smell, Old Car Feel
0:09
0:09
412
Paul Can Really Push Good
0:12
0:12
413
Stay In My Guest Room As Long As You Want
0:08
0:08
414
David And Joshua Mutual Pleasure Exchange
0:08
0:08
415
Doin' The Flip-A-Doo
0:05
0:05
416
Anti-Vaxxer "Saxophone" Relaxer
0:11
0:11
417
Germaphobe Does Not Mind
0:04
0:04
418
Very Sleepy Man Delivers On Promise
0:09
0:09
419
Fourscore And Seven Years Of Happy-Happy
0:12
0:12
420
Fart Walrus
0:09
0:09
421
French Woman Enjoying A Danish
0:06
0:06
422
No Shirt, No Shoes - Service
0:12
0:12
423
With Or Without You (Preferably With)
0:12
0:12
424
Shouts And Murmurs
0:04
0:04
425
Pilates Are Invigorating
0:12
0:12
426
I'll Take A Look At The Dessert Menu
0:08
0:08
427
The Last Rock Star
0:20
0:20
428
It's Noon Somewhere
0:04
0:04
429
My Bar Mitzvah Was Ten Years Ago
0:16
0:16
430
Community Bookstore Meet-Up Gone Good
0:05
0:05
431
Love Clean Up, Aisle One
0:13
0:13
432
Found Your Thing Using MapQuest
0:05
0:05
433
Divorced MILF At A Used Record Store
0:15
0:15
434
This Cheesecake Is Divine
0:04
0:04
435
Jam Session
0:16
0:16
436
Can't Find My Socks (Don't Want To)
0:05
0:05
437
Even Better Than An Associate Degree
0:13
0:13
438
I Went To School In The Boston Area
0:10
0:10
439
Happiness Is A Warm Dong
0:11
0:11
440
Square Hole, Triangle Peg, Plus Another Square Hole
0:20
0:20
441
Call Me Dr. Stardust
0:04
0:04
442
Now That's How A Puppy Should Sneeze
0:23
0:23
443
Fun Times Inside A Grain Elevator
0:04
0:04
444
Operation Cooch-Toot
0:17
0:17
445
Preggo!
0:04
0:04
446
My Parents Won't Be Home For A Year And Five Days
0:08
0:08
447
Sure, In There Is Fine
0:04
0:04
448
The Official Webcam Of Yugoslavia
0:07
0:07
449
Last Entry Is At Three, But You Can Stay Til Six(!)
0:10
0:10
450
We Were Just Talking About You
0:09
0:09
451
Bridesmaid Cutting Loose At The Governor Bradford
0:09
0:09
452
Sophisticated?
0:10
0:10
453
We Deserve A Michelin Star
0:10
0:10
454
Mr. Mamet Showing Off His Special Forces
0:21
0:21
455
Soup Dumplings, Squish-Squish
0:07
0:07
456
How Very Hemmingway Of You
0:04
0:04
457
Drinking Straight Out Of Lust's Milk Carton
0:11
0:11
458
Amateur Anthropologist Makes Important Observation
0:15
0:15
459
Senior Year Hebrew School Mischief
0:08
0:08
460
I Wonder If This Was Allowed In Prussia?
0:13
0:13
461
Pretty Fun Night In Merrill C3 Short
0:07
0:07
462
Should We Take The Bridge Or The Tunnel?
0:13
0:13
463
Dirty Boulevard
0:04
0:04
464
Is The Love-Falcon Available For Birthdays?
0:09
0:09
465
Portland, ME Is Cool... But Really Weird
0:10
0:10
466
The Wish-Maker Will See You Now
0:17
0:17
467
Head Of Development Instructing Rugged Hiker
0:12
0:12
468
The Shenanigans You Requested
0:05
0:05
469
What Gusto!
0:10
0:10
470
Please Don't Make This About Harold Pinter (Again)
0:07
0:07
471
Wet Hot Americano
0:14
0:14
472
A Gentleman Never Reveals His Source
0:13
0:13
473
Glad The Town Approved Your Slurping Permit
0:09
0:09
474
A Mime Betrayed, A Mime Forgiven
0:10
0:10
475
Too Soon?
0:10
0:10
476
Please Be Quiet Or You'll Wake Up My Titties
0:08
0:08
477
Never You Mind That
0:09
0:09
478
She Got A Real Candy Apple Poot-Hooter
0:10
0:10
479
Dolph Lundgren At That Top Of His Game
0:08
0:08
480
Mustachioed Man Has Patience, Diligence
0:11
0:11
481
Two Gigolos, One Office Manager
0:10
0:10
482
Secretary Of State Is Not Off-Putting
0:10
0:10
483
It Took Another Man's Wife To Make This Boy A Man
0:11
0:11
484
Nothing Goes To Waste
0:18
0:18
485
My Mouse Is Thankful For Your Mouse
0:11
0:11
486
Make Yourself At Home
0:04
0:04
487
Meet Me By The Condom Machine
0:05
0:05
488
I Feel Like I've Known You For Hours
0:13
0:13
489
Oh, I Thought You Wanted Something Else, Glad It Worked Out
0:06
0:06
490
Fire Your Dentist!
0:09
0:09
491
Postwar Japan Is Well-Understood By These Two
0:14
0:14
492
Gene Simmons Crying In A Pile Of sh*t
0:10
0:10
493
I'm The Only Lady Who Could Pull Excalibur Outta There
0:07
0:07
494
Rooting For Truffles, Miami Style
0:12
0:12
495
Businessman Has Ding-Dong Like Rocket Ship
0:07
0:07
496
Sally's In Charge
0:10
0:10
497
Too Much Pudding, Not Enough Spoons
0:10
0:10
498
The Turkish Parliament Has Approved This "Carrot-Man"
0:04
0:04
499
It's Raining Dan
0:08
0:08
500
It's Like Apples And Oranges (F*cking)
0:04
0:04
501
College Is Exactly What I Was Hoping It'd Be
0:20
0:20
502
Mentally Ill Farmer Is Finally Getting Help
0:04
0:04
503
A Swedish Couple Enjoying Hearty Vegetables
0:06
0:06
504
Vulnerable Oligarch Vulnerably Sexting
0:07
0:07
505
Best Friends/Next Level
0:09
0:09
506
Tooth Fairy Is Quite Real
0:05
0:05
507
Civil Disobedience Met With Heartfelt Understanding
0:14
0:14
508
A Textbook Case Of Level-12 Pleasure
0:04
0:04
509
So Glad That Was You Behind Me
0:06
0:06
510
An Astoundingly Honest And Fun Salesman
0:04
0:04
511
Celebrating My Promotion With My Wife And Some Dude
0:11
0:11
512
Martha Washington? Mmmm Hmmmm
0:08
0:08
513
Crammin' For The Jam Exam
0:10
0:10
514
I'm Glad We Waited Til Dusk
0:09
0:09
515
You Are As Powerful And Detail-Oriented As A River, Sir
0:04
0:04
516
Just A Couple Of Lucky Special Ed Teachers
0:13
0:13
517
You're Like John Adams Times 1.5!
0:05
0:05
518
Babysitter Surprisingly Into Divorced Software Engineer
0:09
0:09
519
I Guess We'll Need A New Kitchen
0:08
0:08
520
Guilty Catholics Have To Marry Each Other
0:10
0:10
521
They Call Me The "You're Welcome Man"
0:30
0:30
522
Let's Get Your Mind Off Of The Dust Bowl
0:07
0:07
523
So Relieved We Found This Abandoned Schoolhouse
0:07
0:07
524
File Under "The Rolling Stones"
0:06
0:06
525
No Need To Explain Your Clean Aqueduct
0:11
0:11
526
My Poon-Noodles Are Your Doon-Poodles
0:07
0:07
527
Two-State Solution With Benefits
0:07
0:07
528
My Skill Set Qualifies Me For This Position
0:10
0:10
529
Can't Tell If This Is Sex Or Hockey
0:12
0:12
530
Have The Report On My Dick In The Morning
0:05
0:05
531
So This Is Medicaid?
0:07
0:07
532
Mature Cougar Is Addicted To Beej Pie
0:10
0:10
533
Abe Lincoln (Not That One) Is Ready For Fatherhood
0:06
0:06
534
Sure, You Can Use The Cat Door
0:08
0:08
535
No Senator, I Already Have Two
0:16
0:16
536
PTA Meeting Is Full Of Joy And Wonder
0:06
0:06
537
Oh Peter, Thank You For The Yard Work
0:10
0:10
538
A Real Whodunnit!
0:09
0:09
539
Horace's Compromise
0:10
0:10
540
Plutocrats Got Feelings Too
0:08
0:08